Musings On Marriage

After reading a blog post,”Marriage Isn’t For You” In it, the author talks about what marriage is really about. It’s about loving the other person and making a family. And I sat there and thought, where was this guy when I got married. Not because I disagree with his statement or ideals, but because maybe I would have looked at my marriage a bit differently.

It took me a long time to get to that place. It took six months of the shiny newlywed facade to dawn on me that marriage required work.  I realized that marriage is about being a support to your partner. Developing a partnership with the other person. 

 You can’t always be goo goo over your significant other. First of all, it would not be good for your mental health. There is evidence that that lovey dovey feeling actually dumbs you down a bit.

There is nothing wrong with the lovey dovey feeling, but if that’s all you have, you may be in lust and not in love. At one point, when I thought of marriage, I thought of castles and princes. Now when I think of marriage, I think of paying bills on time and someone who will change a dirty diaper. I think of enjoying a conversation about our day. I think about being able to be with someone without all the unnecessary arguments.

 I think the guy’s ideology is pretty sound. When you love someone, you give of yourself selflessly. You care for them and your family you’ve made. That’s marriage. Keep your castles and twinkly eyes in someone elses’ fairy tale. I just want you to help me take out the trash once in a while.

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